Children's Writer's Guild Forum » Highlights Critique Group #1

[closed]

The Day That X Ran Away

(18 posts)
  1. Sheila
    Member

    Hi, everybody!

    This is the thread where we'll be discussing Marvin's new manuscript, starting January 31.

    Please note that I'd like everyone to submit his or her critique by attaching it to a post in this thread. To submit your critique as an attachment when you make a post, simply click on one of the "choose file" buttons below the post entry box, and then choose your critique file. Most standard document formats (.pdf, .doc, .docx) should work. After you submit your post, a link to the attached critique file will appear under the "Attachments" heading at the end of your post.

    You can see an example of what an attachment might look like at the end of this document.

    Attachments

    1. example.pdf (10.1 KB, 16 downloads) 5 years old
    Posted 5 years ago #
  2. Sheila
    Member

    A very warm welcome, Carol, to Group 1! Please allow me to introduce to you Amie, Jack, Patti, Sue and Marvin.

    Posted 5 years ago #
  3. Hi Carol! Welcome to Group 1.

    Posted 5 years ago #
  4. Carol
    Member

    Thanks Marvin. Happy to be here.

    Posted 5 years ago #
  5. Sheila
    Member

    Hi, Guys!

    Time to begin eXpressing ourselves!

    My critique of Marvin's story is attached below in *.docx format (if anyone has trouble reading this file, just let me know). Please weigh in on my observations.

    Looking forward to reading everyone's critiques and discussing them with you!

    Attachments

    1. Xcritique.docx (119.2 KB, 9 downloads) 5 years old
    Posted 5 years ago #
  6. Sheila, I can't open this format. Help!

    Posted 5 years ago #
  7. Sheila
    Member

    I just remembered that *.docx files will only be (readily) readable with recent versions of Microsoft Word. Accordingly, I've attached an additional, plain old *.doc version of the critique to this message. Please let me know if you have any other problems!

    Attachments

    1. Xcritique.doc (37.5 KB, 6 downloads) 5 years old
    Posted 5 years ago #
  8. By using the *.doc format, I easily was able to open your document. Thank you so much for the feedback. I am now eagerly awaiting comments from the rest of the group 1 team.

    Posted 5 years ago #
  9. phutchison
    Member

    Sheila,
    I couldn't open the file in the first format, either. But the second one worked well. Just thought you'd like to know. I am going to try to post my critique now... wish me luck!
    Patti

    Posted 5 years ago #
  10. phutchison
    Member

    Hi Marvin-- I really liked your story. Very imaginative!

    Attachments

    1. Marvin_s_critique.doc (24.5 KB, 10 downloads) 5 years old
    Posted 5 years ago #
  11. I appreciate your comments, Patti. They are right on target.

    Posted 5 years ago #
  12. Sheila
    Member

    I REALLY like Patti's comment about X's representing love. Afterall, isn't love the MOST important thing in the world? Thus, X goes from being the least significant letter to the most significant letter -- this is also a GREAT value to pass onto young readers!

    Great point, Patti!

    Posted 5 years ago #
  13. Since today is January 31st, the "due date" for receiving critiques, I assume that I have received all of them that I can expect to receive. I really appreciate the two well thought out critiques I have received thus far. If any of the rest of you would like to add your comments, I would welcome them. I intend to submit this story to some publishers as soon as next week.

    Posted 5 years ago #
  14. ajloveit
    Member

    Hi Marvin,
    So sorry I didn't get this in by yesterday. It was done. I was just having internet issues!
    I hope this helps!
    amie

    Attachments

    1. The_Day_That_X_Ran_Away--Amie_Leavitt_.doc (43 KB, 11 downloads) 5 years old
    Posted 5 years ago #
  15. phutchison
    Member

    Amie,
    I really liked how in-depth your critique was. I love the format of it, too. I have no idea how you made those little blue boxes!
    I was also thinking about the "pity party" expression. We used to use that when I was a kid a million years ago. I was wondering if kids still used this expression.
    Your comment about the pictures being used to do a lot of the explaining is so true. I forget that myself when I am trying to do a picture book. We are always taught to use so much description in our writing, and sometimes it does get too wordy. Let the pictures do the talking-- good advice.

    Posted 5 years ago #
  16. Amie, you make some really great points! Thank you so much for such a thorough reading and honest critique. This really points out to me the value of getting diverse sets of eyes looking at one's work. Your points are "right on target." I am going to have to take a hard look at my manuscript and make many of the changes you suggest. I think it definitely will make my story stronger.

    Posted 5 years ago #
  17. Sheila
    Member

    Wow! I had heard about this program Amie, but I have never used it. I kind of feel like a dinosaur, but I know a great tool when I see it so I'm going to learn more about this. Good job!

    Also, I wanted to let everyone know that Carol, our new member, is just observing this first online critique. However, please feel free, Carol, to make any comments that you like.

    Jack will be posting later today, and I should point out that due to a little mixup, Sue got her copy of Marvin's manuscript later than the rest of us.

    Thanks everyone for your valuable contributions!

    Posted 5 years ago #
  18. ajloveit
    Member

    You're very welcome Marvin. I hope it helped in some way :)

    Posted 5 years ago #

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